Buffy the Vampire Slayer Game
by Ninja Master
Summary: The game script for the video game.
1. Spanish Misson

Spanish Mission

Buffy: Giles, tell me again why the latest Slayer Aptitude Test has to be held in the ass-end of nowhere?

Giles: This is a crucial part of your training as Slayer, Buffy, at least as far as the Councils' concerned. Please do try to stay focused. This text is extremely challenging, and comes with its share of peril.

Buffy: Don't they all?

Giles: Yes, now then… the first part of the test is an obstacle course of sorts. Make your to the church and find your way inside. It isn't quite as simple as it sounds. I'll meet you inside best of luck.

Buffy: Oh, sure, you get to wait inside the church and I'm out here with the peril.

Giles: Look sharp, Buffy. Prepare yourself for battle.

Vampire: SLAYER!

Buffy: Hello! I've got a special vampire treat right here for… Or not. Giles! Lacking some vampire-fighting accoutrements here!

Giles: I'm afraid you'll simply have to improvise with your fists and feet while I search for a weapon.

Giles: Buffy! Will this do? Catch!

Buffy: Wooden. Pointy. Looks good to me.

Buffy: And look, more company!

Giles: Well done, Buffy. Truly. I told the Council you didn't even need to put through this exercise. You've proven me correct.

Buffy: Do I get a cookie?

Giles: Rendezvous with me at the front of the church, but keep an eye out. There's a vampire nest within and you must proceed with caution.

Buffy: Caution. My middle name. Only not really.

Giles: Beyond this door you will face your final change. Have a care though. The entrance is protected by a mystical ward that will bar you from passing through unless you have the three keys. These are not traditional keys, but engraved stone. I have already found one. Now you must find and retrieve the others, which are hidden here in the church.

Buffy: An Easter egg hunt! Oh Joy! Will you be wearing a bunny suit?

Giles: Buffy, please try to focus. The levity is appreciated but this is a crucial part of this exercise. I'll aid you if I can. I shall begin searching at the back the church.

Buffy: Trust me. I'm focused. Making with the funny is just a way to shake off the wiggins this place is giving me. There's something really peculiar around here that's spooking me.

Giles: Actually, I think it's quite charming nothing to worry about, I'm sure.

Giles: Congratulations, Buffy. You're doing very well thus far. Now we come to an opportunity for you to demonstrate your marksmanship with the crossbow. Now the fun really starts. Let's see if you can dust them a distance.

Buffy: Long distance dusting. New Olympic event.

Giles: Excellent shooting, Buffy. I do believe your aim has improved.

Buffy: That's me! Death from above.

Giles: Buffy, quickly now, follow me to the bell tower. I've found something.

Buffy: A bell?

Giles: Well, yes, that. But also a secret passageway. Come on then.

Giles: There, Buffy, where the floor tiles look newer. According to an arcane text I've found, there should be a hatch in the floor that leads to a hidden passageway. Unfortunately, it seems that at some point the hatch was sealed. We'll need something heavy to break through the tile. Now, let's have a look around.

Buffy: Or up? I'm wondering if maybe a one-ton bell, say, crashing from above, might do the trick.

Giles: Well, it's erring on the side of overkill, but given the absence of other options-

Buffy: Then it's a plan I'm going up. Just and clear and try not to get squashed.

Giles: I'll do my best.

Giles: I'm afraid you're on your own form here on out. I'll meet up with again after you have faced the final challenge. Once you have inserted all of the stone keys in their places, the main entrance will open.

Buffy: Check. I'll meet you there.

Buffy: Nice, it kinda has that interior decorator from Hell thing happening.

The Master: Slayer.

Buffy: Ever have the feeling you been somewhere before? So, which one of you is Curly?

The Master: What's the, Slayer? You look like you've seen a ghost. What, now witty banter? I'm crushed. I had built up so much nostalgia for our reunion. Ah, well…


	2. Sunnydale High School

Sunnydale High School

Vampire: I'm bored. Let's kill something.

Cheer Squad: … the Mighty Mighty Razorbacks. Everywhere we go-people want to know-who we are. So we tell them… We are the Mighty Mighty Razorbacks.

Cordelia: Ughh. Okay, okay. Let's take a short break. A little reminder, Buffy? I know you're, like, MVP when it comes to offing the butt-ugly supernatural beasties, but cheerleading is an entirely different discipline. Please try to pay attention.

Buffy: Sorry. Just feeling a little oogy. I haven't had much luck with the equally Z's lately-bad dreams. And… lest you forget… I'm doing this as a favor to you. I'm over the pursuit of fame and glory through cheerleading.

Cordelia: It's a crushing blow to the world of synchronized shouting. Okay girls, let's take that last one again but this time.

Buffy: Cordy, get everyone else into the supply closet and keep them quite until I come for you. I'll go track down the janitor and see if Creepy Pete can get the lights turned back on.

Buffy: Ugh. Mr. Campbell. Even during the most boring physics class, I never would have wished this on you.

Willow: They cut the power. Never a good thing. Dose, it make me a pessimist to say that's a bad omen? Cutting the power. I'm thinking they're smarter than the average bear. Or average vampire-bear. And here comes another bad thought, on a collision course with my terror. There are magnetic locks on all the main doors. Here, take this. You won't be able to open them until the power comes back on.

Buffy: Then we have to get the power back on. Just stay here. Keep your head down.

Willow: Absolutely. Classroom. Always felt right at home in a classroom. Yep. Gonna sit right here with the chalk.

Buffy: Who do we have here? New blood. Or, more likely, the recycle kind.

Giles: Buffy… This is Giles… Not to panic, but you might want to come along to the library straight away. There's an… Uninvited guest here, attempting to retrieve some books without a library card. I might have just given myself away. He's spotted… No, wait!

Buffy: Up, up and away.

Giles: If anyone has a free hand, I'm about to be EATEN!

Buffy: Hey! What do think this is, a library?

Malik: Just the stray I was looking for. Come out to play.

Buffy: You don't think I'm going let you read without a fight?

Malik: WRrrraarrrrrrrr!

Malik: We'll continue this later.

Buffy: How's your noggin?

Giles: Bruised but otherwise all right. I believe I'm building up a resistance to cranial trauma.

Buffy: That must be all really good book.

Giles: Actually, no. It's a rather obscure text on spirit channeling. The author was long-winded and pedantic.

Buffy: Want me to try to track him? Get the book back?

Giles: That won't be necessary. The text is seriously out of date. Its contents be of little worth to anyone but an amateur medium.


End file.
